” What was Bill’s second name? ” I ask my wife who is trying to replace a light bulb. I am having problems making out a list of people I want to invite to our anniversary party.

 “Here, ” she says  and passes me down the dud light bulb. ” Can you hand me up that 100 watt one? There. On the table. No. Not that one.The 100 watt one. Yes, that one.  Thanks. Bill who?  OOOPS! ” I grab the ladder just in time to stop her and it from collapsing but the light bulb smashes at my feet.

” God, you’re so useless! ” she says, not so much to me but to the world in general.

After the party ( which went very well I thought ) she says, ” You know who didn’t come? That lovely man who saved you from drowning. Bill Watson. We never really thanked him enough. Such a brave thing to do. Why couldn’t he come? “

I tell her he didn’t come because I didn’t send him an invitation because I couldn’t remember his name.

She is outraged.

” He should have let you bloody well drown, ” she says


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