When my girlfriend becomes aroused, she insists that we go outside and find somewhere very public and very dangerous to act out her impulses. She especially enjoys kissing and entwining her supple self round me in the main street with all the cars whizzing past, honking their horns, flashing their lights. Most of all she is stimulated by the lewd remarks shouted at us by shaven-headed thugs leaning from the windows of their flashy cars with CD players turned up full volume and making obscene gestures with their fingers and forearms as they pass.
When we get back home, fired up after one of these outings, she likes nothing better than kicking off her shoes and lying on the sofa with a giant tub of popcorn on her chest, watching old Humphrey Bogart movies, flicking popcorn into her open mouth and shouting things like, Get ’em off, baby! and Just do it for Crissake!
The African Queen is our favourite.